Well When We found out I was Pregnant Early February 2001 We were very excited. The pregnancy was quite a normal pregnancy. Not a single complication. Other than that of a normal pregnancy backache etc... Anyway 9 months of perfection. The family was making bets as to what the big day would be... Only one was right. That was Daddy. He bet his first son would be born on his 20th birthday. The evening Of Nov. 1 2001 Everything was fine I was 41 weeks and a few days pregnant and awaiting a stress test in the morning to make sure things were fine.. They planned to induce the next week if I hadnt gone into labor on my own by then. That evening My mom and I were watching Tyler Kicking my belly. It was very noticable. That morning I started getting contractions around 3am. I woke up daddy to tell him.. so he started timing them.. Called the dr. they told me to come on in.. So off we went to have our son. We arrived at the hospital checked in and all that good stuff. Finally got to my room changed into my gown went to the restroom and layed on the bed. The nurse arrived to hook me to the heart and contraction monitor.. only she was having trouble locating his heartbeat. i wasnt really worried at this point because there were a few times at the office they didnt find it right away. So she went to get a new monitor. Came back and still couldnt find it. The doctor came and also couldnt find it.. So he ordered an ultrasound.. At this point we were getting a little nervous. The ultrasound specialist team took quite a while to get there. They came and done the ultrasound and I will NEVER forget the words the doctor spoke to me.. MY Suspisions are that your baby didnt make it.. From there it turned into disbelief and shock. Family was called and showed up. We were just hoping and praying that it was some mistake. I had an epidural and they starting inducing me. Telling me that I had to give birth just like normal. I was still looking so much forward to seeing my Son for the first time. All day passed which seems like a blur to me. Then the time to push finally arrived at 7:32 he arrived I immediatly looked to see him and listened for his cry. He never cried. They layed his little precious lifeless body on my chest for daddy and mommy to look at their sweet angel. We spent all that night holding him and crying over him. Our family was there for comfort and support. The hardest part was leaving the hospital and leaving our newborn baby... our first child behind. The following days were trying for both daddy and mommy. We cried and tried to find answers. We had to plan a funeral for our baby. we had to decide on and autopsy or not.. we chose to have one which came back that everything was completly normal. We still dont have answers to what happened to him other than a cord accident. He was absolutley perfect in every single way, only his little heart wasnt beating. This website is dedicated in his memory. We will always number him in our family. Maybe I dont get a birth certificate because he didnt breathe air, but I carried my son for 41 weeks and he was very much alive! We will always love and Miss him. Thank you for taking the time to read His story. Please sign his Guestbook. Thank You... Tylers MOMMY
6 years have gone by...................
It doesn't seem like 6 years at all since I held you in my arms and touched your sweet soft face. I can still remember what you smelled like as I held you close to me and kissed your face. I remember your cute little ears and my toes that you had stolen from me. I remember like yesterday when the doctor gently lay you upon my chest so I could see my son for the very first time. I remember the heartache and emptiness I felt as the doctor did that ultrasound and mommy didnt see you moving or see your heart beating inside of me. I remember that feeling because it is still there just as strong as the day they told me. I remember laying on my side after the ultrasound praying to God to please just let me feel my son move please let these doctors be wrong. I prayed and cried and Begged. I waited until the moment of his birth to hear him cry. I still was praying and hoping the doctors were wrong. I still expected him to cry. I remember him coming out and I immediaty looked at him and listened carefully for his cry. But he never Cried. I remember wraping him in a blanket like there was some possibility that he might be cold. I put a little hat on his head. And dressed him in his coming home outfit that we especially bought for this day. I still waited for his cry I wispered into his ear please Tyler come back to mommy, mommy needs you so bad. Please God dont take my baby. Then I remember the Nurse taking him from me to weigh him and measure him and clean him up. He was 7 pounds and 2 ounces and 21 inches long. He was so beautiful. I remember just staring at him trying to take in everything knowing this would be the only time I could hold my son. I knew the time would pass and he would be gone out of my arms forever. So I just stared at him desperatly trying to remember every single detail of his face and body so that I wouldnt forget his little face. I remember when that moment came for me to leave the hospital and leave my son at the end of the hallway before I walked out the doors. There he lay in that little bassinett as I walked out looking back wanting for him to come with me so badly. I remember getting into my car and looking back. There in the back seat was his little empty carseat. He was born at 7:32 pm on this very day. I remember it like it was yesterday.
We do not need a special day
To bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you
Are very hard to find.
Each morning when we awake,
We know that you are gone.
And no one knows the heartache
As we try to carry on.
Our hearts still ache with sadness
And secret tears still flow.
Was it meant to lose you
No one will ever know.
Our thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly;
In death we love you still,
There will always be a heartache,
And often a silent tear.
But always a precious memory
Of the days when you were here.
If tears could make a staircase,
And heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to heaven
And bring you home again.
We hold you close within our hearts;
And there you will remain,
To walk with us throughout our lives
Until we meet again.
Our family chain is broken now,
And nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
The chain will link again.
